Has DWTS Jumped the Shark?

In the TV Guide magazine (Oct 26 - Nov 1) there is an article in their Breaking News section regarding Season 9 DWTS and bemoaning its lackluster appeal compared to past seasons. When I first started reading it I thought, "Whaaa? DWTS is circling the drain?" However, I don't think that's the case.

Admittedly, a lot of what the article points out as the shortcomings of this season of DWTS I would have to agree. Some of them are:

Casting: This show obviously lives or dies by the "stars" that are on the show and I don't think this show has ever had "A" list celebrities in any of the seasons. More like some B and mostly C. However, this season has seen maybe a few B, mostly C, and even a few D listers. (Tom Delay, anyone? Chuck Liddell?? Louie Vito????) DWTS really stretched the understanding of a celebrity "STAR" to its outer limits. Honestly, if it weren't for Donny Osmond and possibly Mya I might have skipped this season entirely.

Dance Pros: Relative unknowns prior to the start of this whole ballroom dancing experiment by ABC, the dance pros have become stars in their own right eight seasons later. Unfortunately, not all dance pros are as popular as others and as the TV Guide article said, "four of the show's most popular pros - two-time champ Cheryl Burke, Edyta Sliwinska, Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Tony Dovolani - are already history. And fan favorite (not to mention two-time winner) Julianne Hough decided to sit this season out." THAT didn't bode well for the show let me tell you. The newer pros haven't really impressed me (Lacey annoyed me SO much her first season with DWTS) and don't think they've caught on with audiences the way the Fab Five have done which has hurt this season as well.

Desperate Measures: The TV Guide article discussed a recent episode where Derek Hugh went shirtless while dancing the lambada with Joanna Krupa. Derek did it on impulse to try and shake things up. Wonder if others will do the same. Sigh.

So is DWTS gonna call the Fonz with his leather jacket and water skis? Perhaps not just yet. They will probably survive this season though it will be a disappointing one.

I don't want to seem biased but from a programming point of view I would think the majority of viewers are women 18 - 99 and as such they NEED to cast stronger male celebrities that can go the distance. (Donny Osmond has kept this season alive imo). And it may not seem fair to the other lesser known dancers, but pairing Cheryl with Tom Delay type stars is just plain dumb. Tony with Kathy Ireland and Edyta with Ashley Hamilton were not much better. I realize DWTS is trying to spread the wealth among the dance pros and they have to consider height pairing of stars with pros, but seriously. IF the goal is ratings then DWTS has to try and keep their audience favorite dance pros on the dance floor for as long as possible. Just saying.

It may seem that DWTS peaked with Season 8, but don't plug on the show just yet, folks. IF they have a good cast for season 10 it could all turn around.

So keep the water ski boat at the docks and Fonzie's leather jacket on its hook. . . . for now.

It was a Thril-lerrrrr!

(DWTS Week 5 Results Quickcap)

Big Tom opened the Week 5 Results show by reminding all of us that we're at the halfway point in our competition and promised that the results show would have DRAMA and EMOTION. (Oh, Big Tom don't tease us.) So what was so thrilling about the Week 5 Results show? Well . . .

Norah Jones Sang some Songs - One nice R & B number that I wasn't familiar with but love her voice so who cares and one of my favorites, Come Away with Me, while pro dancers danced and some camera/ sound guys moved into the camera shots.

Performance Night Recap Footage - The stars all Hustled around the dance floor along with those that did the Tango while others did the Paso Doble. Foot injury for Kelly. (It's a crazy train that Kelly has been on, eh?) and Donny O. was at the top of the leader board for the night

Monday Pre-Show Footage - Actually, this was kinda interesting. Saw behind the scenes of how the stars/ staff prep for the Performance night show.

Michal Jackson Tribute - Perhaps THE highlight of the night save for the actual RESULTS themselves. The pro dancers did a great job with the Jackson songs and the whole tribute was nicely done. The only "UGH!" part was letting LaToya Jackson introduce it. Too bad they couldn't have gotten Janet Jackson to do it since she is the next most famous Jackson and a bona fide singer/ dancer herself. Seriously, ABC, were you THAT worried about a wardrobe malfunction? ("Damn it, Janet, we love youuuuuu!") Ending with the rendition of Thriller was just awesome.

Week 5 HOOK - Came down to Aaron Carter and Natalie Coughlin and to my disappointment, Natalie got the ole Hook. What??? I SO thought it was Aaron's time to go but alas that was not to be so. He lives to cry another day. I was surprised as the American audience typically holds on to their Olympic athletes till almost the end and though Natalie Coughlin struggled with certain elements of the dance, she was so much better than Aaron, Michael, and Louie. Oh well. It will make Week 6 interesting. See ya back here next week.

The Halfway Hustle
(DWTS Week 5 Recap)

Big Tom and . . . uh . . . Big Hair Sammy opened Week Five's Performance Night. (Hey, Sammy? Madona called. She wants her "Material Girl" costume back. Sheesh.)

Our first competitor for the night was Natalie (Million $ Mermaid) Coughlin and Alec dancing the Paso Doble. In Rehearsal, Alec told Natalie that the Paso Doble is all about POWER instead of romance and that set well with Natalie whose not into the romance, dude. As they rehearsed, Natalie began peppering Alec with non-stop dance technique questions and Alec finally told her she needs to question less and dance more. (Heh! Debi Mazar STILL lives on, folks!) Natalie donned her Supergirl costume for the Paso routine and danced to American Woman. I thought she showed some power but lacked the passionate intensity/ aggression that the Paso demands. Len complimented Natalie in that she is a very accomplished dancer but lacked aggression. She needed more character and chemistry between her and Alec. Bruno called Natalie "Wonder Woman" but that her routine was wonder less and should have had more conviction. Carrie Ann called Natalie a great student but dinged Natalie and Alec on the "lift" they did and Natalie needed to extend more. SCORE: 22

Next up was Aaron "Shed My Tears" Carter and Karina. Aaron said after last week's performance that he doesn't want to turn people off. (Then don't be a crybaby, dude!) In rehearsal for the Argentine Tango, Karina instructed Aaron to turn her ON. However, she admitted it would be hard to do as she is a cold, hearted beetch. (HEE!) Karina brought in some pro dancers to help Aaron learn the routine. (Hmm, and here I thought volunteering at a homeless shelter instead of learning to DANCE was how the celebrity would become better at dancing, ABC.) Aaron's Argentine Tango was an improvement over last week's dance, but I still have a hard time believing Aaron as a Latin lover type dancer. (Bruno was right before - Aaron is NO Gilles Marini) Bruno said that Aaron did exactly what Bruno wanted and that he looked like Robert Patterson dancing the tango in Twilight. (Yeah, right. Whatever) Carrie Ann to Aaron: ~Kees, Kees~ Excellent. Len remarked that Aaron had seemed like he was lost in the woods these past weeks but Aaron's finally come back to daddy. (Len = Aaron's daddy? Eww) SCORE: 24

The Playmaker, Michael Irvin, and Anna D danced the Paso Doble and both Michael Irvin and Anna thought the Paso would be Michael's dance cause the Paso is all about Passion and Aggression. Anna tried to get Michael to get his hips more forward and told him to think about holding a nickle in his butt cheeks and Michael went one better - he actually got a coin and put it in the crack, man! (DON'T ask Mike for some change anytime soon, folks.) In the performance, Michael started off strong and aggressive and then seemed to loose it at times throughout. Still, it was a better routine than his Bolero so . . . Carrie Ann thought it was her favorite dance so far. Len said Michael's posture was good, liked the knee walk, and that it was better than last week's Bolero. Bruno told Michael to keep the nickel in his butt cause its working for him. SCORE: 21

Oh, my, Mya and Dmitry followed Mike with their Argentine Tango and in rehearsal we learned that Dmitry was putting together a very intricate routine with lifts, etc. Then Mya smacks Dmitry a couple of times and then they go and spend time volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. (Cause NOTHING prepares you for a VERY intricate Argentine Tango like spending precious rehearsal time banging nails into wood. Right ABC?) The performance? Let's just say Mya was STILL on Fi-yah and burned it down with her Tango. Seriously. Len said he's never sure what he's going to like, but Mya's Tango? He LIKED it. Bruno thought it was precise with sophistication but needs to keep the emotional connection. Carrie Ann said that Mya moves so well and also thought it lacked the emotional connection. SCORE: 27

Mark Dacascos and Lacey danced the Paso Doble and in rehearsal Lacey explained that in the Paso, Lacey's the bull. (And that ain't no.) Lacey instructed Mark to be scary matador and be very masculine. Oh, and that he would have a solo. (No pressure there) The performance was intense and aggressive. Well done, Mark. Bruno thought Mark looked like Mephisto, the Red Devil, and that Mark was ON it and it was sharp! Carrie Ann said it had POWER and was very exciting. Len said the Paso had to have Posture, Passion, and Performance. Mark had all three. SCORE: 26

Mr. Showman himself, Donny Osmond, and Kym were next with their Argentine Tango. The rehearsal footage showed Kym telling Donny that the Tango needs to be his most passionate dance and whether Donny understands what that means. Donny reminds her that he has FIVE kids. (Hee!) Donny also reminded viewers at home that he has an insanely busy schedule but he loves the Argentine Tango and just hopes it loves him. They perform their Argentine Tango and first of all they made a really cute couple out on the dance floor and also . . . they totally nailed that routine. (Take that Aaron "Wheepah" Carter!) Carrie Ann said the Tango LOVES Donny and that women fell in love with him cause he was so darn sexy. Len loved the intensity, the light and shade, and it was Donny's best dance yet. Bruno said that finally Donny Osmond has become Donny Darko and his routine was sharp and dangerous. Donny said to Bruno that it was Bruno who took him there. (Ah, the bromance lives!) SCORE: 29 (Kym looked gobsmacked at their score which was hilarious.)

Louie Vito of the Shire and Chelsie of the Two Towers also danced the Argentine Tango and in rehearsal Louie said he was willing to step it up and Chelsie said it would be crucial that Louie be sexy and macho for the dance. Louie admitted that he needed to PERFORM or go home. Now, I will admit that Louie and Chelsie make a really cute couple but Vito seemed a bit stiff. His footwork didn't appear to be as sharp as it should have been. Tough that he had to follow Donny for the SAME dance. Len wasn't expecting a lot but was surprised and said it was Louie's best dance so far. Bruno thought they had great storytelling but that Louie was still stepping instead of dancing. Carrie Ann also said it was pedestrian but it was good partnering with Chelsie. SCORE: 22

And then it was Melissa Joan Hart, the not so Teenage Witch, along with Mark also dancing the Argentine Tango. Mark said in rehearsal that there would be no more going lower than three eights on the paddles. Mark was suffering from the FLU (Nice mask, dude) so Anya stepped in to rehearse with Melissa and that helped Melissa. Anya told Melissa to keep the "girls" up for better posture. (Snort!) Melissa wants to do well with the Tango and show she's not a one week wonder. For the performance, Melissa was not too bad. Unfortunately, Mark was still a bit under the weather and looked really pale. (Ok, now Mark looked like Edward Cullen dancing the Tango, Bruno). Speaking of Bruno, he said that Melissa lost it a few times on footwork and maintaining her character. Carrie Ann disagreed with Bruno in that she thought Melissa nailed the character even though there were a few stumbles. Still, did very well. Len thought Melissa and Mark lacked a connection but did well in coping with some difficult choreography. SCORE: 23

Kelly Osbourne and Louis danced the Paso Doble and in rehearsal Louis explained to Kelly that she would be . . . the cape. Kelly? Wasn't feeling the cape so much. And Kelly's a giggler. Louis told her stay focused and that they would be dancing to an Ozzy Osbourne song. (Seriously? You WANT to go there??) When they started the routine I thought, "Kelly! Your HAIR!! Bride of Frankenstein LIVES!! Not sure Crazy Train worked for the Paso but whatever. Wasn't bad, but Kelly didn't seem as focused as she needed to be for a Paso. (Louis went for the vampire look AGAIN. Sigh. I bet he LOVED Twilight. SQUEEEE!) Carrie Ann said Kelly needed to stay in character throughout and lost it a few times. Len said Kelly didn't have the character of the song and needed more authority for a Paso Doble. Bruno did acknowledge that it was a difficult routine, but Kelly still needed to stay ON IT throughout the dance so . . . SCORE: 24

Our last dancing pair tonight was a NEW couple: Joanna Krupa and Maks dancing the Argentine Tango. In rehearsal footage we saw Derek hit by the dreaded flu and sweating like a pig so he was sidelined. Maks stepped in to sub for Derek and since Maks and Joanna learned the full routine, Derek thought it best that Maks dance with Joanna on Performance night. Their performance started really well and Joanna's dress was smoldering (long, cool woman in a black dress . . ). Joanna and Maks danced really close and it was sensuous and hot and then . . . it happened. An OBVIOUS stumble during the routine. (Oh, the shame of it all!) Still, they had some really nice lifts and turns and overall it was looking real good for Joanna. Bruno was living his fantasies up until the stumble and said it was fabulous. Len said getting a new partner is like getting a new pair of shoes. It takes a while to break them in. Great job. Carrie Ann also said Joanna did a great job and too bad about the stumble but Joanna and Maks had good chemistry throughout. SCORE: 24

The last segment of the night was the Group Dance featuring - The Hustle. It didn't count for scores but was a lot of fun and nostalgic for those of us who actually remember the Disco era. All the competitors had fun but I SO think DWTS missed an opportunity by not putting Donny O. in a John Travolta Saturday Night Fever white suite with black dress shirt costume as they could have blown dried Donny's hair to look like Travolta's and it would have been GREAT. (The costume they put him in for the dance number was VERY disappointing. I mean, that wig? Puh-lease!)

Well, that wrapped up Week 5 and we're halfway done with this season's DWTS. Donny O. topped the score chart for Week 5 with an impressive 29 and the Results show will reveal who will be alive to dance another day so don't miss it.

Hey Shakira? The Hook Don't Lie!

(DWTS Week 4 Results Show Quickcap)

Big Tom and Sammy in a Red Dress Harris (Oooo, shiny!) opened the show and led into the recap footage of the Performance Night routines. (Yeah, yeah, girlz rule and boyz drool. We get it.) Following that, here were the highlights of the Result Show Night:

Shakira Sang - She Did it Again with some Asian flair.

The Pro Dancers Danced - Paso Doble and Argentine Tango which the Stars will attempt for Week 5. (Hmm. THAT should be fun for some.)

Stars Family Footage - Aaaahhh, the CUTE factor kicks in.

Shakira Sang - Hips Don't Lie - Those hips?? Oh, my. (Thanks Bollywood Dancers for the assist!)

Footage of the Stars FREAKIN' Out during Rehearsals - Just dance, ya prima donnas! Dance!

The elimination came down to Chuck and Aaron who were in the bottom slots and The Hook went to . . . Chuck "The Macho Man" Liddell. That was expected and it was time, so good call everyone.

Next week will be the Argentine Tango and Paso Doble along with the group dance featuring THE HUSTLE!! (Burn, baby, burn, Disco inferno!!)

It's Latin American Night, Y'all!
(DWTS Week 4 Recap)

Week FOUR, boys and girls! The week had NEW dances with LIFTS!! Woo hoo!!

First up this week was Chuck "Can't really dance, but tryin' real hard" Liddell and Anna T. They took on the Two-Step, y'all. The Rehearsal footage showed what we all already know, pardners . . . Chuck Wagon got no wheels for dancin'. Seriously. They worked on lifts and Anna's hoping good ole boy Chuck didn't drop her on her keester. When they performed their Two-Step, Chucky showed he looked the part of a cowboy but he STILL couldn't dance the dance. The Boot Scoot Boogie was more of a Boot Scoot Clunkeeee. Len said Chuck did well on the lifts and that he's entertaining and a novelty but the quality of the dance wasn't there. Bruno said something about Chuck raiding and causing carnage to the Two-Step . . . ok, fine. Carrie Ann thought the Two-Step really suited Chuck and admired that though there wasn't a lot of grace, Chuck doesn't let the dance beat him. Actually, I thought the Two-Step kicked his biscuits and gravy but okay. (Cage Match Special - The Ice Man vs. The Two Step. To the DEATH!) SCORE: 17

Next we had Melissa Joan Hart and Mark B dancing the Charleston. (Coo-Coo-Cah-Choo) and we discovered from the Rehearsal footage that dancing the Charleston was a first for Mark. (Oh, lovely. The blind leading the blind) Mark took Melissa to a twenties club to help get her in character and it seemed to work. Their routine was lively and energetic and Melissa Joan Hart looked like she was having a magical time on the dance floor. Love the flapper girl costume she wore too. Bruno thought they brought the 1920s Hollywood Flapper Girl back to life and she handled the role 110%. Carrie Ann said that the Charleston was her dance and it was a breakthrough routine for Melissa. Len said the Charleston is all about energy, excitement, and entertainment and Melissa ticked all the boxes in her performance. SCORE: 28

Following the Flapper Teenage Witch was Natalie Coughlin and Alec. They danced the Bolero and from what I found out the Bolero is a slow-tempo Latin dance so it should be romantic, etc. The Rehearsal footage showed Alec telling Natalie that he's going to make the choreography difficult which is a HUGE risk with a relative non-dancer. Natalie said it was the hardest dance so far in the competition. The performance began slow and graceful and she looked quite nice in her dress. She seemed to have some nice poses throughout but then I no really NOTHING about this dance so . . . Carrie Ann was on the fence with Natalie's performance. Carrie Ann thought it was beautiful but Natalie struggled at times during the routine. Len thought it was beautiful and lyrical in movement but wanted to see more romance between Natalie and Alec. Bruno said that Natalie looked like Sharon Stone from Basic Instinct which he liked but didn't like the swimmer poses with her arms hurt her. Backstage Sammy asked Natalie if Natalie was being "swimmer" competitive in DWTS competition and Natalie just smacked Sammy upside the head. (JK! But wouldn't have that been just AWESOME??) SCORE: 24

Aaron Carter and Karina followed the Million Dollar Mermaid with the Lambada. I loved the Rehearsal footage that showed Karina telling Aaron to not be so pigeon toed and stick his butt out more. (Heh!) Aaron wants to bring some gymnastic move to their routine so they show footage of him training with an Olympic Gymnastic coach. (Ok, so he can flip. But can he dance the Lambada?) When Aaron began the dance with the flip and then went into these almost silly jerky movements, I thought, "Isn't the Lambada supposed to be this really hot, sexy Latin dance?" (Latin = Shake the Booty, baby!) Len seemed to agree with me (Or I with him) when he told Aaron that Aaron should have spent more time on the raunchy Lambada movements instead of the 2 second flip at the beginning. (Amen, brotha!) Bruno commented that Aaron needed to channel Giles Marini to get that sexy, Latin lover look/ feel (Ouch! ) and needed to perform more foreplay and sexiness. Carrie Ann thought Aaron needed to "chill out" and that he's trying to hard and it was a turn off to his dancing. (Yikes!) SCORE: 18

Iron Chef Host, Mark Dacascos, and his partner Lacey were up next dancing the Two-Step. Okay, I'm NOT trying to be racially insensitive or anything but it was a bit odd seeing an Asian man dancing a VERY American Country Western dance like the Two-Step. Just saying. Anyway, in rehearsal Lacey said that Mark is not very country. (DUH!!) Mark tried a country twang accent and . . . no. Stop that, Mark. Lacey did instruct Mark to lighten up cause he was thinking too much. Mark's performance of the Two-Step just looked awkward and he seemed flat footed throughout. Bruno thought Mark's confidence was much better but that Mark's footwork was way off. Carrie Ann thanked Mark for his Two-Step and said it was the best one of the night so far and she felt the chemistry between Mark and Lacey. Len loved the spins and it looked good overall though Mark was a bit heavy footed. SCORE: 22

Kelly Osbourne and Louis then danced the Charleston and in rehearsal Kelly told Louis that she LOVES Broadway musicals. However, she doesn't like the vocal sounds choreographers make while doing the steps. (So-rry, chickee!) Louis did this "run, run, run, turn, BUTT! that was funny. For the performance Louis was being the 1920's Vampire dancer and Kelly looked cute in her flapper attire. She did okay but her performance didn't "wow" me like some of her past performances. Carrie Ann said that Kelly is wonderful to watch and she lived up to the look. Len thought Kelly and Louis showed us proper Charleston. Bruno loved the Bob Faucy touches in their routine and that it was a very good performance. SCORE: 23

Joanna Krupa & Derek danced the Lambada and in rehearsal, Derek told Joanna that there is a LOT of grinding and thrusting in the dance. (Cause its FORBIDDEN, dude!) Derek choreographed some tricky moves to impress the judges and then we saw footage of Joanna and Derek volunteering to help others cause Disney, err, uh, I mean, abc network is promoting volunteerism so people can win trips to Disney Theme parks. ( It was a goofy segment so lets move on . . .) In their performance, Derek strips off his shirt and danced topless and Joanna does well with the side to side booty shaking but seemed stiff with the whole thrusting and grinding. Len complimented Derek by saying Derek doesn't disappoint with the choreography though the routine was a bit repetitious in some movements but overall it was great. Bruno thought he was watching "When Animals Get Physical" (Animal Planet. Check it out. Hee!) and their sexual energy was inCREdible. Carrie Ann hoped the children at home were in bed for that performance and Big Tom piped up that he hoped some parents were in bed for it too. (SNORT!) Carrie Ann said their performance was fueled by the crotch area (Yeesh!) and they did great. SCORE: 26

Then it was time for my favorite dancer of the night. Donny Osmond and Kym took on the Charleston and and Donny was frustrated in rehearsal and threw a tantrum. (Ya big baby!) Kym told Donny he needed to let himself go and not be scared about the pressure to dance well. And how did Donny do? Well, I thought he danced the spats off that Charleston though it did appear that is timing was a bit off at moments. Bruno said Donny showed the Showman in his element and was in control. However, Donny needed to be a bit sharper in his kicks. Carrie Ann thought Donny played to his strengths but his timing was a bit off though it was still great. Len said Donny looked good, he danced good, and watching him does him good. (Len? ENGLISH rules say Donny danced "well" not "good." Snort!) SCORE: 24

The Playmaker, Michael Irvin, and Anna D were up next with the Bolero and Pro Dancer Tony was brought into their rehearsal to help Mike make the play with the Bolero dance. Tony told Michael he needs to show more PASSION and don't just dance the dance but FEEEEL the dance. (Yeah, good luck with that.) Again, I no NOTHING at all about how the Bolero is supposed to be danced, but though Michael tried to appear gracefully romantic, I really didn't see much footwork or real romance between Mike and Anna for the dance. Carrie Ann said she saw the romance (Yeah, whatever.) but there wasn't enough actual dancing steps going on. Len thought it was economic of movement and that the score he would give would be higher than his typical 4. ( 4.5 perhaps?) Bruno said Michael's dancing is like the Economy. Each week they expect his performance to go up and it doesn't. SCORE: 16

Louie "Baggins" Vito and Chelsie took on the Two-Step for Week 4 and its the FIRST time for Chelsie to dance the Two-Step. Louie was struggling to feel the country vibe ( Hey, there's no cowboys in the Shire, folks!) so Louie and Chelsie go see Ty Murray so Ty can help Louie to cowboy up for the performance. The halfling and Chelsea danced to Sweet Home Alabama which was great cause I LOVE that song. Unfortunately, the song was the only thing I really loved about their routine. Seriously, the dude WALKED around the dance floor. Meh! Len branded Louie with a "FAIL" for doing nothing more than a series of walks followed by stopping and letting Chelsie dance around him. Bruno said Louie looked dazed and confused throughout and Louie did a dubious Two-Step. Carrie Ann agreed with me that the BEST part of the routine was the song. (You go, GIRL!) Carrie Ann took the spurs to Chelsie for the choreography. SCORE: 16

Our last dancing couple for the night was Mya and Dmitry dancing the Lambada. In rehearsal, Mya complained to Dmitry that his choreography is too complicated so they worked on the routine together. And did it work? In the performance, Mya had the hot, spicy, Latin hips a workin' and their Lambada routine had a HUGE dose of raunch in it so Len should have been happy. Bruno shouted that the routine was an eROTIC, exOTIC, roller coaster and he was exhausted after watching it. Carrie Ann said it was Mya on Fi-ya and very sexy. Len thought Mya set the standard high with her ability throughout the competition so Len would have liked to have seen MORE. (Oh, Len, you dirty old man, you.) SCORE: 28 (Carrie Ann and Bruno with 10's and Len with an 8. That was interesting.)

Well, that did it for Week 4 Performance Night. Mya once again stayed on top but shared that position with Melissa Joan Hart. Check back for the DWTS Week 4 Results Show Quickcap for details on who went home and what filler material the show used to keep us tuned in for 42 minutes. Could be fun . . . but then again.

Dancing Queen!
(DWTS Week 3 Results Show Quickcap)

LIIIIVE! From Fargo! The DWTS Quickcap Show! Who got the Hook and who lived to dance another week? Let's find out . . . but first? LOTS of time killing filler shtuff featuring:

Recap Footage of Week 3 Performance Night - Extra post-performance footage by the dancers. (Yawn. Um, what? Did the halfling say something??)

The Encore Performance - Chuck & Anna's Samba. (The return of the ruffly SLEEVES!)

Queen Latifah Sang - She's STILL doing Hip Hop these days? Really? Hunh. (BEST part of the song was Maks and Cheryl dancing. Whoa, they are good.)

The Stars FIRST Impressions of DWTS - They all basically underestimated how HARD and DIFFICULT it would be and it was SCARY to perform LIVE.

Tom Delay Goes Home Due to Injury - Yeah, well, we all kinda knew that was coming, but nice that he made it through Week 3 with the votes.

Jabberwocky Synchronized Dancers - When these guys started their thang, I thought I was watching the robots from the movie I Robot starring Will Smith. Kinda freaked me out. Good dancing, though, and interesting rendition of Singing in The Rain. And two of the Jabberwocky dancers turned out to be Lacey and Mark B so cool.

Queen Latifah Sang AGAIN! - Ease on Down The Road with some dancers who added a funky flair.

Scientific Analysis Segment - Steve Wozniak? Again??? Sigh. Anyway, okay sketch and the toddler was adorable.

The HOOK went to Debi Mazar and Maks (Oh, SNAP!!). I didn't see that happening. I thought SURE the Playmaker, Michael Irvin, had fumbled the dancing ball and was gonna get benched permanently. Oh, Maleficent! Your wicked ways will bother us no more. (Maks is saying, "Oh, blessed peace and quiet is here again.") Wow. TWO drop off in Week 3 and FOUR new dances in store for Week 4. Don't. You. Miss it!

Is SAMBA-dy Ready to RAMBAaaaal!?!

(DWTS Week 3 Recap)

Back again for another fun filled night of dancing and after an intro from Big Tom and Sammy we're into the first dance of the sexiest night of the season . . .

Mark Dacascos & Lacey start the night off with the Ramba (Tonight's secret dance ingredient is . . . LAAATIIIN!!) and in the Rehearsal footage we saw that going slo-mo was a challenge for Mark as he's one hyper guy. The Performance looked ok with Mark showing some grace and slow Latin action. Judges? Len thought Mark was too hard and aggressive for the Ramba. Bruno said the routine was anti-climactic and it was too staccato and no connection between Mark and Lacey. Carrie Ann thought it was uncomfortable to watch because Mark didn't seem connected to Lacey. SCORE: 18

Joanna Krupa and Derek were next with their Samba. Joanna, in the Rehearsal footage, showed a lot of shaky-shaky, but Derek wanted more nasty sexiness. They also practiced the difficult "Samba Rolls." In their performance, Joanna showed she could move well, but she wasn't the sharpest celebrity dancer I've seen on this show. Still, not bad. Bruno said the good times were back with a samba full of life. Couple of mistakes, but still good. Carrie Ann agreed their were some mistakes, but it was super sexy. Len said their routine had quality stamped all over it. Big Tom wondered if Len had gone to marshmallow camp last week while Len was gone. (Oh, just wait, Big Tom, as the other shoe WILL drop) SCORE: 23

Mya and Dmitry did the Ramba and Dmitry said in Rehearsal that he was going to keep it classic since bad ole Len is back. Mya complained that there was NO inspiration in the room for romance with Dmitry. (Oooooo, QUEMADURA, Dmitry!) During their performance I thought I saw a lift, but Mya had a lot of grace and sensuality that the Ramba should have so could be some good scores. Carrie Ann thought Mya's Ramba was Ridiculous it was so good. She missed the lift cause she was so mesmerized by the dancing. Len commented that there was chemistry and romance but there was too much going on and there needed to be more calmness. (Uh, oh. That didn't sound good). Bruno thought Len was basically nuts cause Mya's Ramba was FA-bulous! SCORE: 27 (Carrie Ann and Bruno posted a 10 each and Len with a 7. Wow. That was a bit surprising)

Following THAT drama was Melissa Joan Hart and Mark B. They danced the Samba and in the Rehearsal footage Melissa looked rough but tried hard. Did she work some Latin magic on the dance floor? Well, her orange frilly dress grabbed attention. Still, it seemed that Mark worked harder than Melissa and she didn't look comfortable and her timing was off at the end. (Melissa reminded me of Jennie Garth dancing) Len actually thought parts were excellent but she needed more rhythm. Bruno said it was a definite improvement and the footwork was better. Carrie Ann sensed Melissa's fear along with the wildness. And Big Tom mocked Mark's hairstyle which . . . deserved! (Lol!) SCORE: 19

It's the Halfling!! Louie Vito and Chelsie were up next with the Ramba. In the Rehearsal footage, Louie slicked back his hair to get more into the role and . . . yeah, ok, whatever. The real question was could he dance the Ramba? In the Performance footage he looked like a sleazy mullet head dude and didn't seem to really dance all that much as stand there and let Chelsie dance around him. Bruno said Louie was Randy Louie! (Uh, NO, Bruno) Still, jerky at times, but good. Carrie Ann thought their chemistry is SO good and they give good frame. Len thought it was wild, no finesse, Louie hanging on to Chelsie, and the routine was too syncopated. SCORE: 20 (Carrie Ann - 8, Bruno - 7, and Len - 5! Ouch!) Big Tom smacks Len with the "Beethoven was a hack!" line and SNORT!

Maleficent, err, uh, Debi Mazar and Maks danced next and they performed the Samba. In Rehearsal, Debi needs to stop talking (AGAIN!). Maks brought in Scary Spice, Mel B., to encourage Debi. Debi's performance was not energetic enough for a Samba. Seemed too laid back and more of a Ramba tempo (The colorful fuzzy hanging things from Debi's skirt didn't help her any either.) Carrie Ann thought it was cute and safe and not fiery. Debi looked worried when she did her turns. Len said it was like cooking that lacked flavor. Didn't ignite. Burno pointed out that Debi lost it twice and she's gotta work it. SCORE: 17

Then my favorite dancer of the season cause he's a cool dancing dude was next. Donny Osmond and Kym danced the Ramba. In pre-commercial footage, Donny admitted that NObody has ever called him a Latin lover. Donny had trouble being serious about all the "love" aspect of the dance, especially touching Kym. (Heh!) Donny's performance was well done though a bit too balletesque at the beginning. Len commented that Donny needed to straighten his legs more but did a great job. Bruno said it was too airy fairy like Swan Lake in the beginning and then all hell broke loose when Donny ran up and started this whole mock kissing, hugging, stuff with Bruno that was entertaining. Donny said he didn't think they would let him back in Utah. Carrie Ann was a bit speechless at the sight of Bruno and Donny together. She thought Donny was daring to do a solo and he did lose musicality at one point. Good vulnerability. Sammy's "should've given him tongue" comment was just. so. wrong! (SHUT UP, Sammy!) SCORE: 21 (Paula Abdul was on the show this week and made some silly comments and then we moved on)

The Playmaker, Michael Irvin, and his partner Anna D. danced the Samba for Week 2 and in Rehearsal we saw that Michael struggled with Anna's teaching style so they decided to white board it so Michael could learn the steps. As Michael danced the Samba, it appeared that his arms were not sharp and he had little to no Latin hip action. But he did try hard and looked like he was having fun. Bruno told Michael that Mike is going in reverse gear. Michael was like a tank and had no rhythm. Carrie Ann thought his problem was that he was dancing too small for such a big guy. Len said it was disappointing. SCORE: 14

Following the Playmaker was the Million Dollar Mermaid herself, Natalie Coughlin and her partner Alec. They danced the Ramba and in Rehearsal she admitted it was hard for her to be sexy. Her face kept turning red and she laughed whenever she needed to be intimately close with Alec during the routine. Alec brought in his wife Edyta to help Natalie and Edyta even gave Natalie permission to be with Alec . . . in a purely dancing context, of course. (What an understanding woman. Heh!) In their performance, I thought Natalie struggled with being comfortable and sensuous but still had nice lines and flowed well. Carrie Ann LOVED it! Len thought Natalie had good leg and hip action and did well. Bruno thought her performance was STRATOSPHERIC! SCORE: 26

Macho Man Chuck and Anna T were next with the Samba (oh, my.) In Rehearsal we saw that Chuck was smiling more and having a good time. Anna does tell him to get his shoulders down and his boobies up. (Snort!) And then Chuck goes for a pedicure with his daughter? Oh, please! (Instead of being known as "The Ice Man" in the cage he'll be "The Ice Queen.") Unfortunately, his performance wasn't all that great as he's just a big, clunky guy on the dance floor. He did try hard though. Len congratulated Anna for working with Chuck and said the routine was entertaining. Bruno thought Chuck's Samba was from Zombie Town (That's just west of Ghoulville btw). Carrie Ann loved Chuck's sleeves and costume but his dancing was a bit rough. SCORE: 17

Mr Green, Aaron Carter, and his partner Karina took on the Ramba for week 3 and during rehearsal Karina asked Aaron to give her his sexy look. Aaron did give her a stare of some sort and Karina busted up laughing. (Oooo, SEXEEEE!) When they performed their Ramba, I wasn't too impressed with it actually. Aaron like several of the really young guys that have been on DWTS struggle to create the romantic, sexiness, of the dance and the shirt costume he wore did not help one bit. (Seriously, dude!) Bruno thought there was plenty of attack but it lacked fluidity. Carrie Ann commented that Aaron over-danced but it was still nice. Len said Aaron lacked musicality and his arms flung around too much. SCORE: 21

Ah, my favorite female dancer, Cheryl, and Tom Delay danced and for Week 3 Tom tried to hammer out a decent Samba. In Rehearsal, Cheryl complained that Tom was dancing too robotic and needed to have more grace and flow. THEN we discovered that ole Tom has stress fractures in BOTH feet. (YIKES!!) Doc said he shouldn't keep dancing, but Tom didn't want to give up. In the performance, Tom, despite being the dancing wounded, did okay with the Ramba. Actually had decent hip action at moments. (NOT that I was really noticing, of course.) Carrie Ann said that Tom is easy on the eyes and love the entertainment value he brings but the routine was not as exciting as it could have been for a Samba. Len thought Tom was a hero for dancing with two hurt feet. Bruno told Tom that Tom was a super trooper to go on with the performance despite his hurt feet. (Sigh. Poor Tom is either gonna lose on votes or have to bow out due to injury. I'll miss you, Cheryl) SCORE: 15

Our last dancing pair for the night was Kelly Osbourne and Louis dancing the Samba. The Rehearsal footage showed that Kelly focused and did better learning the routine. But how was the performance? Well, it was better by far than her last week's Tango, but still wasn't great. Len thought her problem was her confidence. Bruno said compared from last week Kelly was BACK! Needs to get rid of the doubt if she stays. Carrie Ann commented that when Kelly is ON then Kelly's technique is great. She also told her to get rid of doubt and she'll do better.

At Week 3 it was Mya on top with a 27 followed closely by Natalie Coughlin with a 26. Who got the Hook and went home? Watch the Week 3 Results Show and check back here for the Quickcap.

Kiss The Blarney Hook Goodbye

(DWTS Week 2 Results Quickcap)

Big Tom and Sammy Harris kicked off the Results Show for Week 2. (Sammy's hair was . . . interesting. At least her dress was nice.)

Recap footage from Monday's Performance show with commentary from Big Tom (zzzz...) followed by a break down of where the Stars all stand in points/ place.

Joss Stone - Sang a song and a pair of the pro dancers danced.

Footage of the NEW DWTS Rehearsal Training Center - In an interview, Kelly O said they all fight over the big rehearsal room but I'm thinking ole Chucky boy gets that one since no one beats him in a throw down. Oh, and they SPY on each other as they are practicing their routines.

Selena Gomez - Another Disney (abc is running a Mickey Mouse outfit these days so what are you going to do?) singer sang some song and I'm sorry but this chick is NOT that good so meh on that segment.

Dance Pros working with the Stars - Ah, the challenges of working with the various personalities of the celebrities. Best part of this footage was Maks shushing Debi for the MILLIONTH time. (HEE!)

USC Trojan Marching Band/ Stomp the Yard - The band was AWESOME! (Yes, I like me some good marching band and the Trojans are rock stars, baby!) The Stomp the Yard crew were good too as they . . . stomped it.

Joss Stone - Sang another song while the dance pros did their thing.

We finally got down to the reveal of who went home and I must admit that the way DWTS did the build up for Week 2 actually added to the suspense and made it interesting. That said, Kathy Ireland got the HOOK and she's sent home. (Ok, that was still somewhat predictable)

Next up . . . Week 3 and Len returns!

Baz-zy Sayz . . .
(DWTS Week 2 Recap)

We're back for week 2 of DWTS and the men and women went head to head (More like feet to feet) for the first. time. EVAH this season.

Stars were introduced and there was a guest judge for Week 2 subbing in for absent Len. The judge was Baz Luhrmann who . . . oh never mind. He's somebody in the performance/ dance community but he's NO Len Goodman so let's move on.

First up this week was Joanna Krupa & Derek who went into week 2 the overall leader. Was she able to hold on to the top of the leader board? We'll see. She and Derek danced the Jive and in the Rehearsal footage we saw that Joanna was really huffing and puffing while learning the fast paced Jive. Their performance began and WOW! Joanna's hair!! So BIG!! Seriously, I found it a bit distracting during their routine but she had LOTS of energy throughout. Carrie Ann also commented on Joanna's big hair. Carrie Ann liked Joanna's energy and gusto but Joanna's footwork not great. Bruno also like that Joanna really went for it, but her flicks and kicks needed to be cleaner. Baz said that Joanna & Derek are a great couple but needed to connect more on the dance floor. SCORE: 20

Next up was the "Queen of the Chlorine" as Big Tom called her, Natalie Coughlin and Alec. They did the Quickstep and we learn from the Rehearsal footage that Natalie holds her breath while she dances which . . . no, not good. (Hey, Million Dollar Mermaids don't breathe well on land so . . . ) LOVED the Jackson Five song they danced the Quickstep to and I thought her dress was nice and she looked less tense and smoother than last week. Bruno told her to relax more and that Natalie's breathing (OR lack of it) was a problem. She could be amazing. Baz thought Natalie was stiff at the beginning of their routine and relaxed more towards the end. Carrie Ann really liked Natalie but needed to use Alec more. SCORE: 21

Chuck "Macho Man" Liddell & Anna T danced the Tango for Week 2. Macho Man asked Anna if he needs to be softer for the dance. She told him NO as the tango is an aggressive dance and besides, Len's not gonna be there. (Heh!) They also decided to incorporate some of Chuck's fighting moves which . . . not so sure about that. Chuck's performance was intense as it should be for a Tango, but he still seemed to lack the grace and flow even the Tango requires. Baz admired Chuck's strength in performing. Carrie Ann was scared while she watched him cause he was so menacing (Macho, Macho MAAAN!), but he did make an impact. Bruno thought Chuck's dancing was savage and primeval, but Chuck's footwork was not great. SCORE: 19

Following the Macho Man, was Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Melissa Joan Hart, and Mark. They danced the Jive in the Rehearsal footage Melissa admitted that she's "not the most coordinated." But she is determined to nail the Jive. In there performance Melissa didn't do too bad as she had lots of energy. Carrie Ann thought that last week Melissa was beige but that in week 2 she was bright RED. Bruno called Melissa a filtering lady bug (Heh) and that she had great action up top but the footwork was not so great. Baz said it was a big improvement over last week's performance, but the steps were still not good. SCORE: 19

Michael "Playmaker" Irvin and his partner Anna D danced next doing the Quickstep. In Rehearsal, Mike used football lingo to psych himself up for the dance by chanting, "We're on the same team." (Glad he knows that. Might help when he's dancing with Anna). Their performance Quickstep was ok, but it seemed slower than most Quicksteps and the Playmaker didn't have the sharpest kicks. Bruno said that the steps were there and more content was in it so it was better. Baz liked how Michael confronted the challenge and that he has great charm. Carrie Ann said that compared to last week this routine was a touchdown. SCORE: 20

Next up dancing on Week 2 was Debi Mazar and Maks doing the Tango. I realized after last week who Debi reminds me of. The queen from Sleeping Beauty - Maleficent. (Seriously, check it out.) In the Rehearsal footage we saw that Debi experienced the Maks Factor as Maks cracked the whip the past week and drove Debi to tears. (Oh, the DRAMA!!) They explained that they have a real love/ hate relationship and . . . whatever. Just dance, Debi. Their routine was nice with the costumes and dancing to the Moulin Rouge rendition of Roxanne by the Police was well done (Sucked up to Baz, but ok). Good intensity I thought. Baz also thought they did fantastic. Carrie Ann thought Debi, the Drama Queen, worked it on the dance floor and they had good form. Bruno thought their Tango could have been even better as Debi was a bit shaky at times but still good overall. SCORE: 21

Oh, and next up was the halfling Louie Vito dancing with Chelsie. Louie Baggins started their Jive routine with an impressive flip. He even seemed to have some decent kicks and flicks though he did lose it at times during the performance but overall not bad. Carrie Ann thought Louie showed real joy while he danced but that his timing was off. Bruno thought the little halfling was a cool dude in the hood but there was some mucking about and they could have done better. Baz said they were a good couple while dancing but that Louie's timing was off during moments in their routine. SCORE: 19

Aaron Carter and Karina danced the Quickstep for Week 2 and in the Rehearsal footage we saw him do a slide then fall on his butt. (Lol. Nice move.) There is some drama between Aaron and Karina but I thought it was mostly for the camera so whatever. The performance was done to the Muppet Theme song and they even had some of the Muppets in the ballroom. Aaron wearing a green tux (Get it GREEN like Kermit The Frog?!?!?!? Sigh) and Karina trying to be who in her outfit? Miss Piggy?? (Oh, please!). Anyway, costumes and Muppets aside, I actually thought Aaron danced a good Quickstep with energy and sharp footwork. Bruno thought Aaron's performance was spectacular! Called Aaron a mini Fred Astaire. Danger is going to be trying to live up to the performance. Baz said it was a real Quickstep and a good show. Carrie Ann thought it was a pleasure to watch and their holds were ridiculously great. SCORE: 27 Big Tom commented that he was surprised at the score as he thought the judges had left the #9 paddles in storage. (Ah, Big Tom, we love ya!)


Kelly Osbourne and Louis danced the Tango next and in the Rehearsal we learned that Kelly was really stressed about doing the Tango. And the stressed showed during their Tango as Kelly seemed a bit stiff and less confident than last week. Baz called out the mistakes but still liked her energy. Carrie Ann did say Kelly was building technique, but Kelly lost character at one point. Bruno called Kelly Eva Parone with Kelly's Tango look, but the mistakes did hurt her. SCORE: 19

Former UBERmodel, Kathy Ireland, and her partner, Tony, danced the Quickstep and I thought this would be a good classic dance for Kathy to shine. In Rehearsal, Kathy agreed with the judges comments from Week 1 that she needed to get over herself and throw caution to the wind. I was disappointed with the performance as their Quickstep seemed slow and lacked energy. (Shall we dance, Kathy? Hmm??) Sigh. Carrie Ann thought it was too reserved and her holds were too spacious. Bruno did say she looked elegant but needed to be engaging. Baz said Kathy lacked energy. SCORE: 18

Mark Dacascos and Lacey were next with the Quickstep. Their routine was a lively energetic Quickstep but what was up with the dead animal on Lacey's dress?? (Did not look attractive, lady.) Footwork didn't appear to be real good and the slip didn't help him so Mark could be in trouble with judges. Bruno thought Mark needs to get his feet under control. The Baz Man said Mark recovered well after the slip in the routine but Mark has potential to be a really good ballroom dancer. Carrie Ann thought Mark was "tight" but needs to relax more. SCORE: 21

Dmitry and Mya danced the Jive and in the Rehearsal, Mya and Dmitry do a little shtick where Mya beats up Dmitry for blowing the choreography for last week's Viennes Waltz. (Slap him, Mya! Slap him like there's no tomorrow!!) The song they chose I thought was VERY questionable for a family hour entertainment show. I mean, really. Do most elementary school children watching with their parents need to hear the lyric, "Do you want to go to be with me?" Anyway, their Jive is quick, sharp, and all the moves were there. (Ok, Dmitry's costume was SO silly I found it distracting from watching Mya which is NOT what the dance pro should do to his or her partner. Baz thought Mya was fantastic. She claimed the dance. Carrie Ann loved Mya's Jive though she did admit that Len would have hated the beginning but Len's not there so stick it, Len! (My translation but that's EXACTLY what Carrie was saying. Hee!) Bruno starts spouting various gibberish but basically LOVED Magnificent Mya's Jive. SCORE: 27

Tom "Hammerman" Delay and Cheryl were up next with the Tango. (Oh, my) In the Rehearsal footage Tom almost gives himself whiplash and also finds out he has foot stress fractures which . . . sound of the death knell anyone? (For whom does the bell toll? For Tommmmm) The routine starts and Cheryl looks quite lovely and Tom doesn't look bad himself. Tom actually doesn't do too bad with the Tango until the end when he almost DROPPED Cheryl on her back. (O. M. G!!!) Guess his feet picked that moment to fail him but still hung on to Cheryl. Carrie Ann thought Tom and Cheryl were an oddly well matched couple. Liked it until the end and Carrie Ann told Tom he needed to "squeeze them together." (Wait . . . squeeze WHAT together?? ~snicker, snicker~) Big Tom's laugh was priceless. Bruno commented that Tom nearly pulled it out of the bag. True, it went to pieces, but he did well to dance a proper Tango. Baz thought despite the end, Tom showed great dignity and grace. SCORE: 18

NOW were we able to see Donny dance? Yes! Donny and Kym danced the Jive for week 2. In the Rehearsal footage Donny struggled with the routine's fast pace since he's an OLD man of 51. (Hey, 50's the new 30 . . . um . . . not buyin' it, eh?) Donny and Kym look great together and dancing to Secret Agent Man was slick (Kinda like Donny's suite. What was that material??) Good routine imo. Bruno called Donny, "Secret agent Osmond? Mission accomplished! Baz thought it great that dance knows no age cause Donny was good. Carrie Ann rocked on Kym's costume (Austin Powers saw Kym and said, "Behave.") and then said Donny's doing great despite his age. (Oh, please! He's 51 not 81. Sheesh!) SCORE: 25

Well that does it for Week 2. Aaron Carter and Mya led the pack but who went home and who lived to dance another week? Check out the Week 2 Results show and then join me here for the Quickcap of the show.

*Hook'm, Danno!

(DWTS Week 1 Results)

The HOOK* worked overtime as DWTS Results Show did a DOUBLE elimination ousting one man and one woman from this season's lineup. The Results show kinda annoys me in that they have to spend a full hour with so much filler cause the actual "results" part only takes 3.5 minutes. So the highlights were:

Sammy's Hair - The LONG locks were back!

Sean Kingston - Sang a song.

The Losers Club - VERY funny segment. Loved all the past STARS who participated in the sketch.

Miley Cyrus' New Video - Ok, she didn't look too Disney in THAT video clip. Sheesh!

Adam Carolla's Locker Room sketch - A HOOT!! Seriously, the guy cracks me up.

Performance from the cast of The Lion King production - Animals stampeded the ballroom and several studio audience members were crushed!! LIIIIVE!! (JK!!) Cool costumes and yes, I sang along with the Circle of Life.

Dance Pros' Tribute to Patrick Swayze - THE highlight of the night imo. Dancing the final big dance scene from Dirty Dancing was GREAT! LOVED that Tony was the part of Patrick Swayze and Cheryl (Woo hoo!) as Baby. (And nobody puts Baby in a corner!)

The Results of Week 1 - Ashley Hamilton for the men and Macy Gray for the women. Both predictable and deserved.

That wrapped up DWTS Week 1. More dancing ahead so stay tuned.

(*The HOOK refers to the old Vaudeville Shows where the giant hook would come out on stage from the curtain wings and pull the bad entertainers off the stage.)