Season 9 Aligning of the Stars

The upcoming season of DWTS promises to be chock full of stars . . . well, they're all "stars" as long as you REALLY stretch the term to the outer galaxy. Nevertheless, let's see the constellations of celebrity types that plan to waltz across the dance floor this fall:

The Sports Stars
Natalie Coughlin ( Olympian Medal Winner)
Michael Irvin ( NFL Football player )
Chuck Liddell ( UFC Champ - Fighter/ Boxer type)
Louie Vito ( Snowboarding Champ - Alternative Sport Star)

All four are your stereotypical representatives for the various sports though I have to say Chuck Liddell and Louie Vito are so sport specific that if they don't WOW the viewing audience with their dance moves they will be KO'd early on. I would think your average DWTS viewer doesn't watch cage fighting death match type events nor log hours watching the X-Games to see all the rad snowboarders tearing up the slopes so have little to NO idea who Liddell or Vito are and I seriously doubt that Liddell nor Vito's respective fans watch DWTS. One thing past seasons have shown is that MOST of the stars who do well have a combination of ability and significant fan base. Chuck and Louie may be screwied is all I'm saying.


The Model Stars
Joanna Krupa
Kathy Ireland

Caught Krupa on this past summer's celebrity show The Superstars and she was a real prima donna so expect some DRAMA from her. I did read in TV guide that the show is trying to pass off Kathy Ireland as more of an Entrepreneur type a la Steve Wosniak or Marc Cuban than a supermodel, but that dog won't hunt. I mean, this is Kathy Ireland, ex-SUPERmodel, and that's what she'll always be to most people.

The Actor Stars
Melissa Joan Hart
Debi Mazar


Not much to say here except being actors both of these ladies might draw some decent fan base and if they actually CAN dance (which remains to be seen) then they could advance.

The Singing Stars
Macy Gray
Aaron Carter
Mya

Aaron Carter and Mya are the best options for this grouping as both have had some dance training, albeit of the music video variety, but still. . . .

The Entertainment Stars
Donny Osmond
Kelly Osbourne (Daughter of The Prince of Darkness himself - Ozzy)

Donny!! After Marie's stint on DWTS I'm not surprised big bro wanted a crack at the glitter ball trophy. We'll have to see if he does better than sis. Should be VERY entertaining to watch. Kelly is an Osbourne so expect some real wackiness from her. Unless she is a dark horse dancer, she'll be back in Ozzy land in no time.

The Most Questionable Stars
Ashley Hamilton (Son of George Hamilton)
Mark Dacascos ( Iron Chef America Host)
Tom Delay (Former Politician . . .)

Okay, these three, err, stars, are so out there I don't think even the Voyager deep space satellite has come close to reaching them. A Political Star?? Seriously? DWTS really wants to go there? And they pick Tom Delay? Great casting, people. And I thought last season's Holly Madison was a silly selection. At least DWTS casting could claim short notice for that one. What's the excuse for Ashley and Tom? My understanding is that Mar Dacascos is a Food Network star with the show Iron Chef America but we'll have to see if he can cook something on the dance that will sway most TV audience voters who have NO idea who this guy is or why he's on the show.

Well, there you have it. These dancing stars come out on Monday nights starting Sept 21st so break out your TV telescopes and train them to the ABC night sky to catch all the hot, dance floor action. And be sure to stay tuned for upcoming blog recaps on the season ahead.