That Ain't No Jive Turkey!

~DWTS Season 10 Week 2 Performance Recap~

We're back for the second fun filled week of Dancing with The Stars Season 10 and it's Performance Week Number TWO!! And tonight's performance scores will be combined with last week's scores and then the team with the lowest scores and/ or lowest votes will get the hook on the Results Show on Tuesday. Won't that be fun!

Brooke informed the television audience that viewership was WAY up then it was on to the Stars Stair Descent (SSD) and a first look at the costumes for the night. Hmm. Okay. Quite the variety. On to the first couple of the night . . .

Shannen "Brenda Pru" Doherty and Mark Ballas were dancing the Jive and after last week Brenda wanted to LOWER the bar for herself for week 2 (Way to reach for the stars there Brenda) Mark said that he won't dumb down the Jive (Cuz Mark is the boy who would be KING so no loser talk Brenda!)

They performed the Jive and I noticed while Shannen danced that she has serious bird legs in the dress she wore. Oh, and though she wasn't horrible, that wasn't the sharpest Jive we've seen on the dance floor. Following the performance she ran to give daddy a post performance kiss. Awwww.

Judges Decisions: Len thought Brenda Pru showed lots of energy but lost control at times and needed to work on finesse. Bruno was liking the Heathers Mean Girl look and said her energy was better but the kicks and flicks needed to be sharper (Called it!). Carrie Ann thought Mark pushing Shannen harder was a good choice but needed to work on musicality.

In the Celebriquarium (Still think its a lame name), Brooke asked Pretty Pru about trust with Mark and blah blah blah Mark said "no risk no rewards" and blah blah blah. Moving on. SCORE: 20 [ 38 out of 60 ]

Soap Star Aiden Turner and Edyta were up next dancing the Foxtrot. In rehearsal, Aiden was struggling with the steps and Edyta was getting REALLY frustrated with Aiden's progress. Aiden told Edyta to either be patient or leave. (Whoa!) Edyta leaves the rehearsal studio and Aiden's like "Dude . . ." (Oh, the drama!) But since this is TV, Aiden decided to man up and dance and they hugged it out and went back to work.

The performance was surprising in that Edyta was actually clothed . . . well as clothed as Edyta can be on DWTS, but what wasn't surprising was Aiden's tentative foxtrot. Of course, being smacked by Edyta's elbow a couple of times during the performance didn't help Aiden's confidence.

Judges Decisions: Bruno said that Aiden showed a glimmer of hope (Really Bruno?) and that there were some good lines but still some problems. Carrie Ann thought Aiden did a nice job but that he's trying too hard and oh, the drama paid off! (Don't encourage them!)

BB made sure to point out Edyta elbowing Aiden during their performance and then Brooke asked Edyta about the pressures of being a pro dancer on DWTS and working with the whiny, huge egoed stars like Aiden. SCORE: 19 [ 34 out of 60 ] (Buck up Edyta you haven't been voted out . . . yet)

And then it was time for Golden Boy himself, Evan Lysacek and his partner Anna. Evan worked on the Jive which Anna said is a "happy dance" for a bit and then it was off to Evan's hometown for a GOLDen celebration for winning the gold medal at the recent Winter Olympics. (Nice segment but how did it pertain to preparing for the Jive??)

Their performance was really good. That boy can DANCE!!

Judges Decisions: Carrie Ann said it was great and that Evan was in control and the connection was there. Lenny commented that Evan overcame the Tall Guy Syndrome and danced well but needs to work on his feet more and don't go wobbly. Bruno thought it was Greased Lightin' but agreed with Len that Evan needs to be careful with his feet.

Back in the Celebriquarium, Brooke found out that Evan likes cheesecake! (Like who doesn't?) and Big Tom tossed out that on this show you see a lot of it (cheesecake that is). SCORE: 24 [ 47 out of 60 ]

Up next was Niecy Nash and her partner Louis Van Amstel dancing the Foxtrot. During rehearsal Niecy started whining to Louis that all his dance instructions sound like Chinese. (Hee! Wouldn't that have been awesome if he REALLY tried to teach her to dance speaking Chinese??) Louis did tell her that she needed to be like a mirror with his moves and she responded by asking when did she become a white man? (snort!)

Niecy is all pretty in pink for the performance. Surprisingly, she showed some nice form and some real grace. Overall, it was a nice routine.

Judges Decisions: Len said it had musicality and a sassy twist and a real revelation from last week. Bruno and Carrie Ann said something nice about the performance but unfortunately I missed it. (Thanks Jamie and Lori. ;7) ) And I still like BB doing the post performance interviews. SCORE: 21 [ 39 out of 60 ]

Pilot Jake "The Bachelor" Pavelka and Chelsie Hightower danced the Jive and Jake admitted in rehearsal that he was acting silly and feeling stupid (Way to be in touch with yourself, dude) Chelsie said that "Jake and I butt heads" and then we saw short clips of Jake almost killing Chelsie with his "stupid" dance moves.

In the performance, Jake danced okay, but his kicks and flicks were not all that sharp and I think he lost the timing there at one point.

Judges Desicions: Bruno pointed out that Jake wants this badly and the energy and determination were great. Carrie Ann caught a LIFT (That's a no, no) but thought the energy was great. Len admitted that the Jive is a tough dance to do and Jake was a bit heavy in the feet.

SCORE: 20 [ out of 60 ]

Then it was Spacecowboy Buzz Aldrin & Ashly Costa dancing the Foxtrot. For rehearsal, Ashly ddiagrammed the routine and that seemed to help Buzz learn the steps easier and Ashley realized that Buzz is not like most of her partners (Yeah, he's older than dirt!) His scary wife visited the rehearsal too. Buzz does work hard and pointed out that he doesn't "lolly gag around."

Ashly's dress was lovely and but Buzz's posture needed to be straighter. His dancing was more of a soft shoe performance but I loved the song selection. Ashley partnered well with Buzz as she didn't over dance.

Judges Decisions: Carrie Ann thought it was very charming and it tugged her heartstrings but the dancing part was trepidations Buzz looked afraid and in their holds Buzz kept standing WAY apart from Ashly. The only thing Len said about Buzz is that he inspires people to dance (Very diplomatic there, Len) and Bruno said the man in the moon looked stuck in the Foxtrot. (Lots of boos for Bruno there).

In the Celebriquarium, Brooke asked Buzz about his showing his scary wife the moves and personally I don't want to hear ANYthing about Buzz's moves in any way, shape, or form. (Seriously!!) SCORE: 12 [ 26 out of 60 ] Nice attitude from Ashley about their scores and chances in this season.

Up next were Nicole Scherzinger and Derek Hough dancing the Jive! And what fascinating fact about Derek did we learn from last week's post performance interview? The dude can't COUNT!! (SNORT!!) In week two, Derek and Nicole are struggling with trying to dance the jive to a contemporary song and its totally freakin' her out. She wants to do well cause she's scared of Len. ( Who isn't?) Then she decided to embrace the song and got. To. Work. And as Nicole said, "That ain't no jive turkey."

And their Performance? Oh. My. Nicole's outfit was um "Edyta" style and they danced to a very different "jive" song. Nicole, however, ripped it up with the jive moves. Kicks, flicks, she did it all. And did it like a pro. Nicely done.

Judges Decision: Len complained that the first 12 bars were not his cup of tea so he wasn't as pleased with it as the rest of us were. (Thank you Mr. Crabbypants) Bruno shouted that it. was. FEE-nominal and a Jive for the 21st century! Carrie Ann - Perfection! She loved it!

Brooke, in the post performance interview, explained that contestants don't choose their music but it's chosen for them. Then Brooke asked Derek who he liked dancing with more - Nicole or Brooke. (Heh, way to put Derek on the spot there, Brooke). SCORE: 28 (TWO 10s on week 2) [ 53 out of 60 ]

ESPN Erin Andrews and Maks did the Foxtrot and in Maks tells Erin to "Channel your inner princess". Next clip? Erin totally belches LOUDLY. (Nice.) Maks is a little bewildered that HE is the calm one in the relationship and asks "when did that happen?" Erin is a FREAK in rehearsal.

Performance time and they danced to a Taylor Swift song (yeah. just deal with it). Erin wore a magical pink dress and looked fairly magical doing the Foxtrot. Maks really complemented her performance

Judges Decisions: Bruno told Erin that she has taken to dance like a duck to water and has natural elegance but to make sure she finished all her movements and then Big Tom cut Bruno off in mid critique.( Oooo!) Carrie Ann said Erin is a beautiful lyrical dancer. Great use of musicality but she looked like holds had a desperation feel to them. Erin said she couldn't find Maks' bicep to hold onto. (Ouch!) Len thought it was generally good. Footwork not as good. Then Lenny ranted that all the celebrities needed to: "Turn up Keep Up and Shut up!" (Truer words were never spoken). SCORE: 23 [ 44 out of 60 ] Maks points out his bicep back in the Celebriquarium and Erin admits she needs to stop complaining and just dance. (Yeah ya whiner!) Big Tom said he wasn't sure Maks' ego will survive this season.

And then we had Marilyn Monroe, err, I meant, Pamela Anderson and Damian doing the Foxtrot. They decided in rehearsal to go more romantic and more old Hollywood. Then we see a clip of a good crash. (At least Damian survived being assaulted by Pam's flotation devices this week)

So Pam, channeling Marilyn Monroe, danced the Foxtrot and though I hated to say it but she totally sold the character and did a cute foxtrot.

Judges Decisions: Big Tom quipped that it was so good a bus load of Kennedys showed up. (Hee!) and Bruno too thought it was well executed . . . and the dancing was good too. Carrie Ann liked how Pamela is able to go from character to character. Rocked the Marilyn Monroe! Lenny said Pam was titivating herself (The look on Big Tom's face was priceless) and she had cheeky charm. Len also said she needed to work on her posture and get her bust away from Damian.

SCORE: 22 [ 43 out of 60] Brooke's question about seeing all the sides of Pamela was great especially when Pamela just looked at the camera and said she thought everyone already had. (Uh, yeah, Striperella! )

Another Foxtrot by Chad 85 and Cheryl followed rPam and in rehearsal we saw that instead of dancing Chad spends all the time flirting with Cheryl. Cherly kept telling him to stop sticking his butt out so much and all Chad could do is act like an 8th grader. Sheesh.

I noticed in the performance that Ocho is TALL and that 's working against him dancing with little Cheryl. He's too stiff and lacked grace.

Judges Decisions: Len found it terrible. It was like the snow in that we 're glad when its all over. Bruno said Chad looked uncomfortable and there was no musicality. Need to reboot and start again. Carrie Ann thought Chad had great potential but that he's thinking too much. Needed to be in the moment. SCORE: 16 [ 34 out of 60] Oh, and Cheryl's dress had a strange front flap that didn't work.

Our last couple of the night was Mommy Kate Gosslin and Tony dancing the Jive. During rehearsal, Tony became frustrated with Kate who was a complete disaster with dancing. Tony is one of the nicest pros in all of DWTS and for Kate to constantly whine and question Tony's teaching ability was UN-believable. (She was worse than won of her sextuplets). It got so bad that we saw a clip of Tony quitting on Kate (OH DRAMA!) and Kate had this distraught look on her face (and totally fake tears) and one wonders how Jon put up with this prima dona nut case for all those years. Again, because its TV were everything HAS to be resolved in 28 to 42 minutes, Tony returned (NOOO TONY! STAY AWAY!!) and apologized and they continued working on their routine

So then they perform and Kate looked like a Vegas Showgirl skank in that outfit and she was a total disaster on the floor. The deer caught in the headlights look on her face several times REALLY impressed the judges I'm sure.

Judges Decisions: Burno lamented that the song they danced to held such fond memories for him until Kate turned into a nightmare. (HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!) Carrie Ann commended Kate that she made it through the routine. . . but it seriously sucked. Len thought Kate's nerves were breaking her at the moment and will need to come out and go for it. (No, she's going out like a wimp).

Kate's face in the Celebriquarium told the whole story that she has already given up and is a LOSER! (Please TV audience vote her out!) SCORE: 15 [ 31 out of 60 ]

Week Two Performances are done and next up is the FIRST Results show where one of these celebrities will get the ole HOOK and be pulled off the dance floor for good. Check out my Results Show QuickCap coming soon . . .